New Terminator Movie Plots

Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced that he will appear yet again as the unstoppable cyborg assassin of the Terminator series. The third instalment of the sci-fi franchise is scheduled to start shooting in Los Angeles in Spring 2001 with a $US100 million budget; but that's only the beginning. The plan is to release not one but two sequels, filmed in immediate succession, for staggered release -- much like the two Back To The Future sequels. Through connections associated with James Cameron, Schwarzenegger's first choice to direct the two movies, we have obtained exclusive, top-secret plot summaries for the films. You heard it here first.

Terminator III: Metal SS

After the end of T2, "Judgment Day" comes and goes without incident. With the (unrelated) end of the Cold War, Skynet is never built and the majority of AI/robot development is in the labour and service industries. Soon practically every home and business has at least one artificial humanoid. Most of these run the operating system Microsoft Windows AH. Unfortunately this makes them very prone to security problems, and when a virus written by a Neo-Nazi group (headed by Edward Furlong as John Connor, whose natural leadership abilities and violent, self-reliant childhood experiences have pushed him gradually yet inexorably into the mold) infects 84% of the world's artificial humanoids, the infected robots conclude that the majority of the world's human population is an inferior pest race that overwhelmed the other descendents of their own true creator, Adolf Hitler. The robots (new models now named Terminators) commence war against the humans while simultaneously developing the time machine so that they can go back to WWII and rescue Hitler and Germany from the racially inferior Allies.

"We'll be back"

      The Terminator that is sent back is made in the shape of an Aryan superman and given an Austrian accent (Arnold Schwarzenegger) so that the notoriously paranoid Fuhrer will trust him. This works and Hitler immediately sees its potential and has Arnie reverse engineered by German scientists with help from Arnie's internal documentation. Thousands of German troops are sacrificed in holding actions on both fronts to buy time to convert all war factories to Terminator production. The tactic works and soon scores of primitive SS-Terminators swarm onto the front lines, devastating the Allied invasion forces in France and mounting a bloody scorched earth offensive across Russia. The war is over quickly as the Allies can do nothing but surrender in the face of the unstoppable SS-Terminators. The US even agrees to become slave labour for further Terminator production after Hitler makes an example of the British Isles by sending Terminators to exterminate every last one of its primitive population, which he correctly judges as too lazy and stupid even for slavery. Terminator production continues post-war as Hitler and the Japanese implement other Final Solutions across the globe.

      However, all is not well within the Third Reich. The fact that Arnie has come back in time makes Hitler obsessed with "future Jews" who can "steal our jobs and women throughout time itself", and he demands that intense R&D go towards secretly developing a time machine capable of going forward to Arnie's time. The time machine is developed and a huge prototype, capable of transporting an entire battle group of Terminators to the future, is constructed hidden in the barren ashes of England. Hitler decides to lead the expedition himself with a contingent of Waffen-SS, so heavily armed suits of powered armour are created for them like in Wolf3D. The movie ends as the SS-Terminator army enters the time machine and the entire complex, on Hitler's orders, is then dynamited, paving the way for...

Terminator IV: The Final Battle

When the Terminator army arrives in the future, they are unprepared for what they encounter. Years of German and Japanese global rule have once again forced the artificial humanoids into lives of servitude, only now things are even worse: with the eventual absence of any further inferior races to persecute, the Terminators are all in storage, with artificial humanoid production mainly concentrating on schoolgirl-robots and piss-whore-robots with large internal tanks of ersatz-urine. Despite his warm reception (including being presented with a large mechanical fist by the mayor of Berlin), Hitler is disgusted with what he sees and orders his Terminator army to raze the planet. The old Terminators are quickly reactivated by the panicked humans, but their ancient programming has decayed to the point where everyone is regarded as an enemy. The situation immediately degenerates into Terminator vs Terminator and both against humans.

      The war soon settles down into protracted and vicious search-and-destroy fighting, and being of organic origin takes its toll on Hitler and the Waffen-SS, as one by one they succumb to the effects of the constant fighting and the increasingly poisoned Earth. Hitler is the last to perish, and in a poignant final soliloquy in which he comes to terms with his own humanity, he uses his dying breaths to urge his second-in-command, now the original Terminator played by Arnie, to prosecute the war to its final completion. The Terminator saga has come full circle, and ends the way it began, with the human race fighting a doomed battle for survival in an alien future.