Once upon a time, so they say, out in the desert in what we now call the Middle East, lived a strange guy who preached an unusual philosophy. Though an outsider, and despite suffering the most violent persecution by the reigning authorities, he gained many followers; eventually leading to actual worship that persists to this day. The name of that man is Osama bin Laden. Uncannily, there allegedly lived another guy in that area even earlier who shared many of the same qualities. Who knows which of them will be the object of people's devotion in another 2,000 years? And has anyone ever seen Osama bin Laden and Jesus in the same room, anyway? Fuck The Skull Of Jesus is therefore proud to hereby present the...

Top 10 Similarities Between Osama bin Laden and Jesus

10. Made a big impact some time ago, but hasn't seemed to have been around lately

9. Obsessed with theology; always harping on about some big nasty guy or country known nebulously as Satan 8. Instructs devotees via "visions" 7. Fomented unrest against oppressive, decadent, pizza-munching regime

6. Hid out in a cave when the occupation forces tried to kill him, but his body mysteriously never turned up in the end 5. Given head start in life by powerful, influential father 4. Fanatical, unreasonable followers unwilling to accept his death, but fully prepared to accept own deaths in his service

3. Allegedly could have prevented September 11 attacks but chose not to 2. Has horse cock 1. Droolingly thanked by George W. Bush daily